Where Children Develop a Love for Learning

Imagine the scene. A young child is trying to get comfortable for a car ride, but nothing seems right. Parents (and maybe even siblings) try to help. However, with each suggestion, the child becomes increasingly upset and overwhelmed. When we see that our children are getting frustrated, often our immediate response is to offer help, usually in the form of advice: “Try this.” “Do that.” “Just calm down.” While our intentions are good, our children’s responses tend not to be positive. Depending upon the situation, they may get more overwhelmed, respond with resistance, or even shut down. Advice, even when helpful, isn’t always what’s needed in the moment. What often works better (with children and even adults!) is a different kind of support, one that builds connection and trust, rather than pressure. The Power of Curiosity Questions In the Positive Discipline approach, this alternative is known as curiosity questions. Rather than imposing solutions (think of this as “you should” kind of advice), these questions are designed to invite children into the problem-solving process. Curiosity questions shift the dynamic from a command-and-control approach to one of collaboration. Here are a few examples of curiosity questions: “What’s happening?” “What would you like to have happen?” “How can I help?” By asking instead of telling, we can give our children space to think, feel, and take ownership. Their brains remain engaged in a calm, reflective state rather than flipping into fight-or-flight mode. Even more importantly, children start to feel capable because their ideas and feelings are valued. Why This Matters Moments of frustration or challenge are inevitable. Whether it’s struggling with a seatbelt, navigating friendship dynamics, or facing academic pressures, children need tools to navigate those moments, and we need ways to guide without overwhelming them. Curiosity questions do more than solve the problem at hand. They: Build emotional resilience Strengthen communication skills Cultivate problem-solving and independence Foster mutual respect When we ask questions instead of rushing in with answers, we step out of the pressure to “fix” everything. We create connection instead of conflict. A Simple Shift Imagine a different response on that car ride. Instead of “You should move your backpack,” or “Just unbuckle and redo the seatbelt,” or “Take a deep breath and calm down,” what if the question had been, “What’s bothering you back there?” or “What would make things more comfortable?” The child may still have felt upset, but they would have been invited into the solution. Key Principles Using curiosity questions effectively, our tone, timing, and intent are critical. Keeping these core principles in mind will help immensely! Be Genuinely Interested When we ask questions, we want to make sure we don’t have a hidden agenda. Children are incredibly perceptive and can sense when a question is loaded or when it's a subtle way of getting them to do what we want. Curiosity questions are most powerful when they come from a place of authentic wonder and care. Ask because you want to understand their experience, not because you're trying to control it. Create a Calm First When children are in the middle of a meltdown, they aren’t able to process language-based information. If they (or we) are emotionally flooded, focus on calming and connection first. “I can see this is really frustrating. Let’s take a breath. We can talk about it when we’re both ready.” The focus, thus, is first on everyone feeling regulated. Avoid Accusatory Language Children are also incredibly sensitive to undertones of blame. Even well-meant questions can come across as judgmental if they're delivered with irritation, sarcasm, or disbelief. Focus on gathering information with empathy and openness. We want to avoid “Why did you…?” if it feels like an interrogation. Thus, it’s best to frame questions to understand. Listen Actively When a child answers a curiosity question, they’re offering a glimpse into their inner world. Pause. Make eye contact. Tune in with your full attention. Reflect back what you hear. Ask follow-up questions to deepen understanding. Active listening builds trust and strengthens the relationship. A good go-to question is, “Tell me more about that.” Be Patient Children—especially younger ones—often need time to process both the question and their thoughts. Thus, we want to avoid jumping in with another question or suggestion too quickly. Silence can be a powerful part of the process, giving our children time to think and respond. For the Road Ahead Curiosity questions are a cornerstone of respectful, connection-based parenting. We’ll face plenty of moments when instinct tells us to jump in and take control. However, sometimes the most empowering thing we can do is to slow down and get curious. With just a few simple questions, we can help our children feel calm, capable, and connected. In the process, we can also remind ourselves that guidance doesn’t always mean having all the answers. To learn about more examples of effective and respectful guidance, schedule a time to visit our school!

One of the many beautiful and empowering aspects of Montessori education is how it helps children understand themselves as valued members of a community. A key way this happens is through Care of the Environment, a form of Practical Life work that provides children with the opportunity to tend to the spaces they live in each day. By participating in this care, children begin to feel at home in their classroom, school, and community. They feel a sense of ownership and take pride in their surroundings, and in the process, develop a deep sense of responsibility and connection. The Outdoor Environment When considering the children’s environment, we're not just referring to indoor spaces. In Montessori, the outdoor environment is not an afterthought. Instead, we consider the outdoors to be a natural and essential extension of the prepared indoor space. For young children, who are absorbing everything from the world around them, the time spent outdoors supports development in profound and lasting ways. For older children and adolescents, outdoor spaces can be a place for self-regulation and deep focus. Now more than ever, when children tend to spend increasing amounts of time indoors, reconnecting with natural spaces is vital for physical, emotional, and cognitive health. Why Being Outdoors Matters Research, including the work of Richard Louv in The Last Child in the Woods, highlights a growing body of evidence that time spent in nature is critical to the healthy development of both children and adults. In Montessori, we recognize that outdoor time is not a break from learning. Rather, the natural world is a powerful space for movement, language, social development, and sensory integration. Time outdoors is learning time. Young children are in the midst of sensitive periods for order, language, movement, and sensory refinement. These windows of opportunity allow for an intense connection with nature that nourishes the whole child. Plus, the natural world’s beauty, order, and rhythm speak to our deepest human tendencies: to explore, understand, and belong. The Adults’ Role Outside Outdoor spaces become a rich environment for observation, guidance, and connection. Children are often more socially expressive outdoors, making this a critical time for observing group dynamics and supporting social-emotional growth. It’s also a time to model joyful, playful behavior. Children need to see that being human includes lightness and laughter, and outdoor time offers the perfect opportunity for us to play alongside children while still maintaining an appropriate level of guidance. We can also help children understand that different environments call for different behaviors. What is appropriate outdoors differs from what is expected indoors. As children gain different experiences, they come to understand how to conduct themselves with grace and courtesy on a woodland trail and a garden bed, or how to navigate the intricacies of fort building and group game dynamics. Montessori children learn to move through different scenes and scenarios with increasing awareness, sensitivity, and confidence. Setting Up Outdoor Spaces We want our outdoor spaces to feel like a true extension of our classrooms, not a break from them. As such, we are intentional about how the outdoor spaces are developmentally appropriate, deepen children’s understanding of cause and effect, and nurture a sense of order. We want activities in the outdoor space to have a purposeful intent so they support the integration of children’s will, intellect, and coordinated movement. At home, outdoor activities can provide open-ended play opportunities that encourage exploration and independence, as well as ways to involve children in purposeful projects. Here are some ideas to get started! Practical Life Provide tools for cleaning tasks: sweeping paths, washing outdoor furniture, scrubbing flower pots, washing the car, and wiping off outdoor toys. Encourage gardening: planting seeds, watering, weeding, harvesting herbs or vegetables. Offer animal care opportunities: refilling bird feeders, walking the dog, playing fetch. Sensorial Exploration Include sensory gardens with fragrant herbs, soft leaves, and vibrant flowers—like lavender, mint, and lamb’s ear—that invite children to touch, smell, and observe. Create a collection space for sticks, stones, pinecones, shells, and seed pods. Gross Motor Development Find natural structures like logs or balance beams for climbing. Encourage running, rolling, or playing games in grassy areas. Create sand or dirt pits for digging and building. Observation and Nature Study Set up bird feeders, weather tools, and insect hotels. Create small areas for quiet observation with a bench, blanket, or hammock. Add sensory elements like wind chimes or water features to create a calming atmosphere. Curricular Connections Math: count petals, measure plant growth, sort leaves by size and shape. Science: Tools like magnifying glasses and microscopes help them explore soil, insects, and plant life up close. Composting systems, rainwater collection, or native plantings foster environmental stewardship. Art: Natural materials become mediums for creativity, such as twigs for weaving, leaves for prints, and landscapes for sketching. Language: Storytelling, reading under a tree, or labeling plants and garden tools strengthens vocabulary and communication while keeping learning grounded in the real world. Observe and Adapt As with all prepared environments, the key is observation. What captures our children’s curiosity? Where are they returning again and again? What challenges are they facing? By observing carefully, we can adjust to our children’s needs and interests. A prepared environment supports the whole child and helps them feel connected, not just to the earth, but to themselves and their community. We’d love to share our outdoor spaces with you. Schedule a tour today!